I grew up in a typical Nigerian home and like many Nigerians, discipline mostly meant one thing.

If you did something wrong, you were punished. Sometimes it was shouting. Sometimes it was the serious beating.

Back then, nobody really questioned it. That was just how parenting worked. I remember how my friends and I would exchange stories of the most brutal beatings we’ve received from our parents over the littlest errors.

Now that I’m raising my own child, I’ve had to think about discipline very differently because the truth is, disciplining a child is not just about stopping bad behaviour. It’s about teaching them how to behave better next time.

To be honest, I’m still figuring that balance out.

There have been moments when my child did something wrong and my first instinct was the same one I grew up with: react immediately.

But I’ve noticed something over time.

When discipline only comes from anger, the child may stop the behaviour in that moment… but they don’t always understand why it was wrong. They’re just afraid of the punishment.

What I’ve been trying to do more of lately is slow down before reacting.

Sometimes that means:

- Explaining why a behaviour is wrong

- Taking away a privilege instead of shouting

- Asking them to correct the mistake they made

It doesn’t always work perfectly. Parenting rarely does.

But I’ve started noticing that my child responds better when they feel guided, not just punished.

Another thing I’ve realised is that discipline in Nigerian homes often focuses on obedience, but not always on understanding. Both matter.

Children need boundaries. They need consequences. But they also need to know that discipline is coming from a place of care, not just authority.

I’m still learning every day.

What do you think is the best way to discipline a child in Nigeria?

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