"I need to tell you something hard."
Your children are not your friends.
They're not your therapists.
They're not your emotional support system.
They're not your marriage counselor.
They're not your personal diary.
Stop venting to them about your marriage.
Stop telling them how much you hate their father or mother.
Stop using them as messengers between you and your ex.
Stop expecting them to manage your feelings when you're having a bad day.
Stop crying on their shoulder about your own childhood trauma.
They're children.
They're trying to figure out who they are.
They're trying to navigate school, friendships, their own emotions, their own identity.
They can't carry your weight and theirs too.
You're the adult.
You're supposed to carry theirs — not the other way around.
When you treat them like a friend, you rob them of a parent.
When you treat them like a therapist, you rob them of their childhood.
When you treat them like a messenger, you put them in the middle of battles they didn't start.
Be their parent first.
Be their safe place.
Be their stability.
Be the one who listens to them — not the one who dumps on them.
Friend comes later.
When they're grown.
When they're mature.
When they choose to be yours — not because they had to, but because they want to.
"They need a guide. Not a burden."
