Maybe it was a parent who was warm one day and distant the next, so you learned to work for attention. Maybe it was an ex who pulled away the second you stopped initiating. 

Either way, your nervous system wrote itself a rule: “if I stop chasing, I lose them”. 

And it’s been enforcing that rule in every relationship since, whether it actually applies or not.

Here’s what that looks like in real life; He goes quiet for six hours, and instead of living your life, you’re running forensic analysis on his last three texts. 

He gives you a mixed signal, and instead of stepping back, you send a paragraph explaining your feelings at 1am. You override your own gut because trusting it feels scarier than ignoring it.

This isn’t about blaming yourself. 

It’s about seeing the pattern clearly enough to interrupt it. And once you can name it, you can actually start doing something about it instead of just living inside it.

If you found value from this, I wrote a free guide that walks through exactly why this pattern forms and how to actually break it, not with willpower, with a different approach entirely. Grab it here👇