I wish I could smack.

I wish I could do

everything you did to me back.

You hate me, don’t you?

You say you don’t.

You say it’s love.

You say it’s friendship.

But tell me,

how do you call it friendship

when I’m not allowed to feel?

I apologize for everything.

No freedom to breathe.

To speak without regret.

I don’t hate you.

I just wish I had freedom

freedom to say what I need to say.

You say you’ve given up.

I say don’t.

Every word.

Every cry.

Every scream…

but I learned to whisper,

to bottle it up.

You say I’m not worth it.

I know.

Every slap.

Every smack.

Every pain.

Every thorn

you planted in my skin

and called care, love.

I wish I could peel off

bits of me,

piece by piece.

Freedom

true freedom. is my dignity,

and you stole that.

I’m alone because of you.

I hate that.

You claim goodness.

You claim you are better than the vanity of the world.

But the world doesn’t pretend to care.

Love me

while it breaks me.

I would weep if you left.

I would.

But sometimes…

I wish you had.