I’m privileged to say that I’m well travelled and I have met a lot of people from all walks of life.

One thing I don’t understand is why many Africans are struggling abroad and can barely make ends meet but they would rather stay there than come back home.

I’ve met people working multiple dead-end jobs for pennies while dealing with expensive rent, long commutes, loneliness and the general stress of living abroad.

Meanwhile, in their home country, they might be able to earn a similar amount with less of the pressure.

So I started asking people.

And the more I listened, the more I realised that the answer is much more complicated than “life abroad is better.”

1. They didn’t leave just to make money

For many people, leaving home was never only about getting a bigger salary.

It was about getting access to opportunities they couldn’t find at home.

Better schools, better career opportunities, more predictable systems, a chance to build a different future for their children.

For some professionals, the difference in earning potential is also significant even when the first few years abroad are difficult.

So someone might be struggling today but still believe their situation will improve with time.

They aren’t necessarily comparing their current life abroad with their current life back home.

They’re comparing where they are now with where they believe they can eventually get to.

2. Coming home can feel like starting from zero

This one came up repeatedly.

Imagine spending five or ten years building a life somewhere.

You have your job, your apartment, your friends, your credit history, your professional network, your children’s school, your routine.

Then someone says:

“Why don’t you just come back?”

Come back to what?

Even if Nigeria is home, you may no longer feel completely at home there.

Some Nigerians in diaspora describe exactly this tension. They miss family, food, social life and the familiarity of home, but they also worry about employment, healthcare, infrastructure and rebuilding a career from scratch. 

That’s not an easy decision.

3. They are already invested in the life abroad

There is also the simple economics of it.

Moving abroad is expensive.

Visa fees, flights, school fees, rent deposits, agents, tuition, relocation expenses.

Sometimes years of studying and working just to get permanent residency or citizenship.

After putting all that money, time and effort into getting established, leaving can feel like throwing away the investment.

Someone might be earning minimum wage today but thinking:

“Let me just survive these next few years. Things will eventually get better.” And sometimes they do.

4. “Struggling abroad” can still look different

This is probably the part I underestimated.

Someone earning a modest salary abroad may complain about rent, taxes and bills, but still have access to things they value.

Reliable electricity, public transportation, more predictable public services, better infrastructure, a functioning credit system, access to certain healthcare and educational opportunities.

The experience varies massively by country and immigration status, of course.

But for some people, the struggle abroad feels more predictable than the struggle they experienced at home.

That’s an important distinction.

5. Family expectations make things complicated

Then there is the infamous African family group chat 😂

You leave Nigeria and suddenly everybody assumes you’re doing well.

“Send something for mummy.”

“Your cousin needs school fees.”

“Please help us with this project.”

“Since you’re abroad, dollars should not be a problem for you.”

Some migrants are supporting several relatives back home while also trying to pay their own rent and bills.

Recent reporting on African workers abroad has highlighted how family support can become a major financial responsibility, sometimes leaving migrants with very little disposable income of their own. 

So returning home doesn’t necessarily mean escaping financial pressure.

The pressure may simply follow you.

6. There is also the shame of coming back

Let’s be honest.

Africa has created a strange social relationship with people who “japa.”

When someone leaves, everybody expects success.

New pictures, new car, new accent.

“God when?”

“International.”

“Abroad life.”

Nobody wants to hear that you’re sharing a two-bedroom apartment with three people and working night shifts.

So when things don’t work out, coming home can feel like admitting failure.

Some people would rather struggle quietly abroad than return home and have hundreds of people asking:

“So what happened?”

7. Their children may no longer see home as home

This is another big one.

If someone moved abroad at 25 and now has children who were born and raised there, “just come back home” becomes much more complicated.

Home to the parent might be Lagos, Accra, Nairobi or Kampala.

Home to their child might be London, Toronto, New York or Johannesburg.

You can’t simply relocate an entire family because one person misses home.

There are schools, friendships, careers, relationships and identities involved.

8. Some people genuinely don’t want to come back

And this is something I had to accept while doing this research.

Not everybody abroad is secretly dreaming about returning. Some people genuinely prefer their lives abroad.

They might complain about the weather. They might complain about taxes. They might complain about loneliness. They might complain about their job.

But they still prefer it.

Because having a difficult life in another country doesn’t automatically mean you’d have a better life if you returned home.

9. And sometimes, going back actually doesn’t work

This is probably the strongest argument against the “just come back” conversation.

There are Africans who have returned and discovered that the problems they left behind were still waiting for them.

Recent reporting on Nigerians returning from South Africa, for example, showed how some returnees found themselves facing unemployment, inflation and economic difficulties similar to the ones that pushed them to migrate in the first place. 

Migration can solve some problems while creating completely different ones. Returning can do the same thing.

So maybe the real question isn’t:

“Why are they struggling abroad instead of coming home?”

Maybe it’s:

“What would make going home a genuinely attractive option?”

Because if someone has to choose between struggling abroad and struggling at home, the answer isn’t always obvious. And I think that’s what I misunderstood initially.

People aren’t only choosing between two salaries. They’re choosing between two systems. Two futures. Two identities. Two versions of what their life could become.

And sometimes, the life abroad that looks miserable from the outside is actually the life they have deliberately chosen.

I’d genuinely love to hear from Africans living abroad:

What would make you permanently move back home?

And for those who have already returned:

Was life actually better after you came back?

Let’s hear the honest version, not the Instagram version.