The idea of life lies in the fact that you can't fully understand something unless it happens to you. A friend of mine once told me a story he heard about a 100-level medical student who made a statement to his professor, a paediatrician. The student said to him, "you know nothing about sickle cell anaemia," because he had firsthand experience of what it had taken from his family and himself. This professor encouraged the idea of two AS couples getting married.
This made me realise that, not just in health but in everything else, the stories you've heard aren't enough to give you a profound understanding of what to do when faced with certain challenges.
My friend was telling me about how he was kidnapped in 2024. Yes, every bone in my body was trying to ask him why he didn't do this or that, but I suddenly remembered during the conversation that life isn't really black and white. Everyone has different experiences and makes decisions based on those experiences because their brain has been programmed that way.
Yet, we tend to advise people at every opportunity we get, giving unsolicited opinions about what should have been done or shouldn't have been said.
I think Nigerians are so good at giving unsolicited advice. I admit I have been like this, but having recently received unsolicited advice from others has made me realise that, far more than your advice, just listen to that friend or colleague because the best you can offer is empathy, not sympathy.
You'd never understand the fear felt by being kidnapped or the pressure you'd face if you received a call from an unknown number asking you to send a ransom you don't have. Neither can you understand the trauma that comes when you lose a family member to death—no until you've had a firsthand experience.
Like a friend once said, only the person wearing the shoes knows where it hurts. So, this new week, perhaps try to keep your unsolicited advice to yourself and just listen if you don't have a firsthand experience on the matter.
This made me realise that, not just in health but in everything else, the stories you've heard aren't enough to give you a profound understanding of what to do when faced with certain challenges.
My friend was telling me about how he was kidnapped in 2024. Yes, every bone in my body was trying to ask him why he didn't do this or that, but I suddenly remembered during the conversation that life isn't really black and white. Everyone has different experiences and makes decisions based on those experiences because their brain has been programmed that way.
Yet, we tend to advise people at every opportunity we get, giving unsolicited opinions about what should have been done or shouldn't have been said.
I think Nigerians are so good at giving unsolicited advice. I admit I have been like this, but having recently received unsolicited advice from others has made me realise that, far more than your advice, just listen to that friend or colleague because the best you can offer is empathy, not sympathy.
You'd never understand the fear felt by being kidnapped or the pressure you'd face if you received a call from an unknown number asking you to send a ransom you don't have. Neither can you understand the trauma that comes when you lose a family member to death—no until you've had a firsthand experience.
Like a friend once said, only the person wearing the shoes knows where it hurts. So, this new week, perhaps try to keep your unsolicited advice to yourself and just listen if you don't have a firsthand experience on the matter.
