I came to FUL in 2018, as a newbie on campus I didn’t know much of an adult life or dating. I only navigated life expecting everything to be perfectly fine. Then, there was the day I attended fellowship and saw this brother. He was in his final year and was tall, fair and good looking. As time went on, I was unusually attracted to this guy. I began to feel the butterflies fluttering in my belly and the likes. I became so possessive and wanted him at all costs. Let me not forget the fact that he was an executive in the fellowship which made him even more popular.

I did not know how to resist these feelings, and it got me thinking so deep. I did not know who I could talk to that would understand my ordeal. I have family, friends and a lot of people around me but to have that one person to talk to, that understands you is very very hard. I kept all this to myself until I could not hold it any longer.

Alas, I thought this was what love is or how it felt like. So, I became optimistic about marriage to this guy. I found myself in a fantasy that gave me an illusion that this guy was the one. I thought about him often and it seem like I had no control over my thoughts. As you would have guessed this affected my academics. My focus on my studies was altered. I struggled with this secretly until I had not just learned but had understood the facts about relationship, I will highlight briefly.

I observed that he was a nice guy, so I thought he liked me too, not knowing it was his nature to be friendly. He had respect for everyone regardless of age or academic level. Every time he attends fellowship, he would be first to say hi to me. I misunderstood this and fell into a self-prepared trap.

 I couldn’t pretend, I could not hide my feelings for him. So, he noticed. I took advantage of this and collected his number. I did all the texting, chatting and calling. He became so tired to the extent that he began to ignore my calls and chats. One day I used a new number to call him and he picked. All this time I realized he didn’t like me, but I didn’t understand it. I wanted him at all cost. From this I learned an important life lesson I have held so dearly since then.

The point is, as a lady never force yourself on any man. If they have any interest in you, they should be first to approach you. My mistake reduced my respect and value making me seem cheap. Men love to pursue what they value.

Secondly, I appeal to mummies, daddies and youths please teach your teenagers the principles of a relationship; teach your young niece and nephew these things early enough. These days children less than 18 years old are in a relationship. This is because they have not been properly counseled, I was a young and ignorant girl, but I was lucky, he wasn't a bad person. He would have taken advantage of me.