Rule number one, you must be a little mad. Drivers and conductors will shout, insult you, and test your sanity. If you cannot stand your ground, you will suffer quietly. Small madness is required for movement.

Next, protect your valuables. Your phone, wallet, and anything you love should not be in an open bag or your pocket. Lagos buses respect nobody. If it is valuable, hide it like a family secret.

Do not forget your bus stop. If you miss it, just accept that you are now on a tour of Lagos you did not plan for. If you do not know your stop, start asking early before you enter another state.

And always hold your change. Once the conductor says he does not have change, that money has entered the spirit realm.

Public transport in Lagos is not just transportation. It is character development.