Honestly, I am both ashamed and unashamed to say this.

I did not grow up in abundance. I was born and raised in the village where our regular foods were akpụ and other local meals. Back then, I did not know anything about all these “soft life” foods like shawarma, pizza, ice cream, cheese, cornflakes, and the rest.

And sincerely, it never bothered me.

As our people say, “Ihe onye na amaghi anaghị egbu ya.” What you do not know will not disturb you 😅

But one thing about me is this: I like trying new things, even if it is just once. My reason is simple. I do not want to sit among people discussing ordinary things and I would be looking lost like a confused village girl 😭. I also do not want anybody to use simple enjoyment to lure me into nonsense because I have never tasted certain things before.

So in early 2022, while I was working at a printing press as a Graphic Designer, I designed a banner and flyer for someone opening a shawarma spot around the area. They have their main business office at Abuja, but want to open a branch around my place. At that time, shawarma was still a “big city people” thing around us 😩😂

I even told the man I've never eaten it before.

So he kept hyping it for me.

“You will love it.”

“It is very sweet.”

“Once you taste it, you will always want more.”

"Our sharwama is the best in Abuja."

Me that likes testing things, I told him to bring one for me the next day when coming to collect his printout.

That was how I bought my first shawarma for ₦1,500, a very big money.

Now the story became sweeter 😂

At that period, it was only me and my mum at home. As I entered with the almighty shawarma, my mum asked, “What is this again?”

I explained to her proudly like someone who had finally entered the world of enjoyment 😭

But before I continue, let me confess something.

I am not really a fan of sweet and milky things. Maybe because I was not raised with them. Anything too creamy or sugary can easily offend my taste buds 😩

So I opened the shawarma with confidence and took the first bite.

My people…

I almost vomited.

The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I had already told my mum to join me. She refused and said she could not eat what she did not know 😂. So she was waiting for my review first before tasting it.

Meanwhile, inside my heart, regret had already started speaking in tongues.

But outside, I smiled and told her, “It is nice” 😭

After much persuasion, my mum finally took one bite.

Just one bite.

That woman quietly dropped it and left the rest for me. She just abandoned me with my suffering 😭

At that point, I started forcing myself to eat it because ₦1,500 was not a joke to me then 😩

Then tragedy happened.

I bit into the sausage.

As I opened the shawarma and saw the inside properly, the village girl inside me suddenly woke up and saw something that resembled nwoke anatomy lying straight at the center of the sharwama 😭😂🤦‍♀️

Omo.

The piece inside my mouth nearly flew across the compound.

I immediately wrapped the remaining shawarma and threw it away into the ịvụ forest without looking back. Instantly and immediately, my relationship with shawarma ended that day 😭. The relationship I was still trying to build just collapsed the same day 🥲. Right there, sharwama became my ex 😀.

Since then, my legs have refused to cross anywhere they sell shawarma again 😂

If it were left for me, all shawarma sellers would close business by now 😭

But maybe… just maybe… I should try pizza this time 🤔

What do you people think?

And please, do not laugh at me too much ooo 😭

I am just an innocent village girl trying to survive in this modern world 😂🤣