“It’s just a punch,” she says, trying to cover a black eye with foundation at least three shades too light. That’s what we grew up seeing. More women than we can count are going through all forms of abuse, yet we keep telling ourselves, that is not me, it’s my friend. When in reality it’s all of us whether it’s the random guy on the street or a big man in politics 

I’ve told her to leave her fiancé so many times I sound like a broken record.

“It’s not that easy,” she always replies. “What will people say if I do?”

I ask what exactly makes it so hard, and then I remember—we live in a society that encourages the “African man” to discipline his wife if she is seen as too troublesome.

One day, I hope we can see beyond these beliefs, challenge them, and choose to be the change.