The Pressure to Find Myself
There is a strange pressure that comes with growing up.
Everyone keeps asking:
“What do you want to do?”
“Who do you want to become?”
“What's your plan?”
And sometimes I wish I could just say,
“I don't know yet.”
Because honestly, I don't.
I'm still figuring out what I like.
What matters to me.
What kind of person I want to become.
What dreams are actually mine and which ones I picked up because they sounded good when someone else said them.
And sometimes, that uncertainty scares me.
It feels like everyone else is discovering themselves while I'm standing in the middle of the road, wondering which direction to take.
There's pressure to have a passion.
Pressure to choose a career.
Pressure to build skills.
Pressure to have the right friends.
Pressure to look like you're doing something with your life.
And when you don't have all those answers, it's easy to feel like you're falling behind.
But lately, I'm beginning to wonder...
What if finding yourself isn't something you're supposed to finish?
What if it's something you do gradually?
Maybe I'll discover a part of myself through school.
Another through writing.
Another through failure.
Another through friendships.
Another through the things I try and realize aren't for me.
Maybe I don't need to have a complete picture of who I'm becoming at nineteen.
Maybe I just need to pay attention to who I am becoming right now.
I can change my mind.
I can outgrow old versions of myself.
I can try something new and fail.
I can discover that the person I thought I wanted to be isn't actually who I want to become.
And that's okay.
Because I'm not a finished product.
I'm a work in progress.
So if you're also somewhere between “I know exactly who I am” and “please, I am just trying to survive this semester”...
You're not alone. 😂
Maybe we're not lost.
Maybe we're simply still becoming.
And perhaps that's what growing up is really about, not finding yourself, but creating yourself, one choice at a time.
Aven
See you in the next chapter. 🌿
#InkAndBecoming #FindingMyFeet #GrowingUp #SelfDiscovery #AcademicWriter #PersonalGrowth
