Get ready for my 1:1 coaching session with one of my favorites client.

Her: "Why do you take life that seriously?"

Me: "Do I?"

Her: "Yes, I think. You always talk as if you have no care in the world."

I smiled. And you call that taking life seriously?

Me: "I guess. Maybe. You haven't tell me why you're here though."

Her time to laugh. She chuckled and look at me.

"Maybe just to hear some of your hilarious joke," she said.

I laughed too. "Okay," I said.

Then I took her all around the neighborhood. I waved my hands to everyone. Then I paused.

"Do you know why we have problem in this country?" I said. 

She paused. "Maybe because of insecurity?"

I shook my head. "No. Guess of something else."

She tilted her head. Just like every woman do when they're unsure of everything.

"Our men are not doing their roles," she said with certainty. "They should be marrying more than one wife."

I squinted my eyes. "You say?"

She giggled. "Don't you said I should guess?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I said that."

"Then I already did."

Huh? Seem like I have to mind my speech when dealing with this troublemaker.

"Hum. Actually, that's not what I meant." I looked at her. "The problem is we're dedicating everything to God. Everything."

"Is anything bad in religion?" She asked.

I shook my head. 

"Not really," I said. "Religion is good, but the people practicing it are møtherfückers."

We saw a girl walking towards us. Daniel. I know her. She's one of the girls I once wanted to make my wife. She rejected. She said I was too mature for her.

Of course I don't really know what that meant. But I wasn't interested in finding out either. So I let her go.

She moved closer to us. Then she looked hard at my client, Ebony. I wasn't sure what she was looking at. Maybe she finds her attractive.

"You like her?" Daniel look back at me an said.

"Do women go around nowadays staring at each other without greetings and then asked stüpid question?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah. So what else?"

I see. I have to take note of the kind of soap I'm using around this time. The heck is going on?

I looked at Ebony and nodded a sorry sign to her. She shrugged and smiled at me. Although I wasn't sure what that meant.

"You should go where you want to go," I said to her. "That is what else."

"And if I don't?"

"Well, I will just ask you why they gave you Daniel instead of Rebecca or Joy or Christiana or Juliana or whatever else dämñ names father and mother give their children when they born them so that the children will not be walking around sticking noses to whatever out there that had nothing to do with their life and personal well-being."

She laughed. Then more laughter. Now I was looking confused. Did she just lost her mind? Just like that? Is my words that effective? But I was wrong. Because suddenly she puffed her chest up and came face-to-face with me.

"Do you think my sister can marry you?" she said, still puffing her chest. "I saw your number on her phone and I already know the only thing that can happen is you already toast her."

"And what does that have to do with anything?" I said.

Ebony was laughing. I started wondering if the two was collaborating to mess me up.

Although secretly, I was admiring this girl chest, Daniel. It's just that I don't know why they will give her a man's name.

It was in the Bible right? Daniel. Wasn't he the one in the lion's den? I wonder if he had left the den. Or he was still there playing with lions.

Although the king fûcked up. Assuming he had kïlled him right on the spot maybe there wouldn't be another Daniel. Worst of all a woman. A woman Daniel. Instead of a man Daniel.

I saw the two girls staring at me. What?

Hey what? Why are you two staring at me?

Wait?

Ahh! My fûcking...

The heck?

I cleared my throat. "Sorry about that," I removed my hand. "I didn't know I was carried out by my thoughts."

"Huh?" the two girls was looking at me. It felt awkward. 

Back then I didn't know my hand had touched Daniel chest. And to their surprise the hand was resting there. It was after they keep staring at me I felt like something was wrong.

"Okay, okay, okay," I scratched my head. And thank God. Ebony is trying to save the distressed in the damsel.

Or was it damsel in the distress?

But I'm not damsel right? And word and opposite. Damsel should be distressed right?

"Assuming you become the president," I heard Ebony voice. "What would you do?"

"Isn't it to just eat popcorn, drink, eat some food and then mixed some alcohol?"

The two girls bursted out laughing. And all of a sudden I started laughing too.

Because it was after that I realized, there was a camera far ahead capturing everything.

And to be surprised I was amazed after watching the video. So dämñ cool.

I didn't know I would be this great if I jump into acting.

But then I paused. It was because I was recorded unaware, I wouldn't be that natural instead.

Thank you for reading this far. I was bored that was why I wrote this piece.

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