I didn’t have a close relationship with my parents. They were strict. Mistakes were met with shouting. Some corrections came with beating, even when a calm conversation would have done the job. I learned obedience early, but I didn’t learn closeness.

Now I have a three-year-old, and parenting feels very real.

What I’ve learned is that gentle parenting in Nigeria is not as simple as people make it sound. It’s constantly questioned. Family members call it “soft.” Friends say the child will not have respect. Society expects you to raise your voice first and explain later.

But here’s my experience so far.

Gentle parenting doesn’t mean my child has no boundaries. It means I correct without fear. I explain even when I’m tired. I hold firm rules, but I don’t use humiliation to enforce them.

Some days are hard. Some days I lose my patience. But I’ve noticed something important. My child listens. Not out of fear, but because they trust me. They tell me when they’re scared. They tell me when something is wrong. That’s the relationship I didn’t have growing up.

Does gentle parenting work in Nigeria? I think it can, but it requires intention, consistency, and a thick skin. You have to be willing to parent differently in a culture that often expects control over connection.

I’m still learning. But for now, I’m choosing to raise my child with the understanding I once needed.

If you’re a Nigerian parent, what’s your take on gentle parenting?