Stop Dating Like You’re Being Taxed.
Part 1 was about what I saw. Part 2 is about what you should do before you go broke chasing the wrong woman.
If you’re a Nigerian guy tired of playing husband to a girlfriend, read this slowly.
1. A girlfriend is a helpmate, not a tax collector.
God created Eve as a helpmate for Adam. He didn’t create her to tax him, stress him, or drain him dry. So if the lady you’re dating isn’t willing to build with you, to assist you toward your goals, to endure the rough patches... drop her fast. Don’t date her. Don’t marry her.
She can manage with her parents, but she doesn’t want to endure with the man she claims to love. That’s deception. If you want clarity, go to church and seek wisdom. A woman who loves you will want to build with you, not bleed you.
2. Stop confusing girlfriend energy with wife material.
What men want in a girlfriend is different from what they want in a wife. Some men will spend on the flashy, BBL, “soft life” type for vibes and status. But when it’s time to marry, they want simple, modest, conservative women. That BBL trend that’s unaliving girls in Nigeria? That’s what happens when a single lady chases an extravagant, expensive lifestyle she can’t afford. At best you’ll be her ATM. At worst, you’ll be dating a side chic who thinks your wallet is her career plan.
If she can’t be low-key and content now, she won’t be when the money dries up.
3. Set the tone early: you’re dating, not sponsoring.
You are not obligated to pay her rent, school fees, or monthly allowance. You’re dating, not raising a family yet. The only women you should fully provide for are your legally married wife, your kids, your mother, and your unmarried sisters. Everyone else gets occasional help, not permanent responsibility. If she expects husband-level provision before any vows, ask yourself what she’s bringing besides expectations. If it’s nothing, walk away.
4. Watch out for survival math disguised as love.
A lot of girls from poor homes were raised in survival mode. That’s not their fault. But it means everything to them is survival. What her parents couldn’t do for her, she’ll heap on your head. No empathy, no endurance, no emotional intelligence. Just “what can you do for me now?”
Love requires patience and sacrifice. If she can’t suspend the laws of nature for you, if she can’t sit with you to plan your life or cook at home without feeling cheated, she doesn’t love you. She loves what you can do.
Real love looks like this: she wants to talk to you every minute, be in your presence every hour if possible. She can spot you in a crowd of 10,000 men. That’s love. Not “send me data.”
5. Date for compatibility, not clout.
Social media turned dating into a performance. You’re not building a relationship, you’re filming content for validation.
Ask yourself: Would I still date her if nobody knew about it? Would I still date her if we spent 3 hours in a park with no food, no drinks, no Instagram story? If the answer is no, you’re not in love. You’re in love with the image.
6. Build yourself so you’re not dating from lack.
The reason “soft life” girls can play you is because a lot of guys are also operating from lack. No savings, no direction, no skills... so you overcompensate with spending to feel valuable. Fix that first. Get your money, your purpose sorted. A man with options doesn’t tolerate nonsense because he knows he can walk away.
When you’re solid, you stop trying to buy affection. You start choosing who you want to share your life with.
7. You can’t buy real love.
Chai, I pity guys in Nigeria. A lot of you will never know what real love is until you leave that country. What you’re practicing there is plain prostitution disguised as relationship, marriage, love.
You can’t buy real love, no matter the billions you have. Don’t be deceived.
Girls who aren’t hungry, aren’t hopeless, and don’t disgrace their family by begging random men for money exist- Yes they exist. But you have to know what to look for, and you have to be a man worth building with.
Before you marry, travel. If you can’t come to Europe, visit other African countries. See how women behave when they’re not operating from hunger and poverty. Nigerian ladies don cast. Date them at your own risk.
Bottom line
Love shouldn’t require you to go broke to prove it. If it does, that’s not love. That’s survival, and you’re not her government.
Date like a man with a plan, not a man with something to prove. The right woman will build with you, not tax you.
Would you like me to write Pt. 3?