For a long time, I leaned on my own understanding when it came to relationships - my feelings, my judgment, what looked right to me. But God has been teaching me something different: to commit whatever I want to do to Him first, rather than banking on my own understanding, especially when it comes to choosing a life partner.
Attraction can start a relationship, but it takes understanding and discernment to build a future with someone. A lot of people fall in love with who their partner could become, instead of paying attention to who they actually are right now. That gap is where a lot of marriages struggle later.
If you're preparing for marriage (or even just serious dating), here are 4 things worth doing before you say "I do":
- Ask the important questions. Talk about values, faith, goals, finances, family expectations, and potential deal-breakers, not just once, but as an ongoing conversation.
- Observe consistently. Watch how they treat other people, not just you. How do they handle pressure, disagreement, or being told no?
- Check if your core values align. Beliefs, purpose, and vision for life don't have to be identical, but they need to move in the same direction.
- Pray and seek guidance. Invite God into the decision. He sees what we often can't see about ourselves or the person in front of us.
As Proverbs 21:5 puts it - the plans of the diligent lead to profit, while haste leads to loss. Marriage rewards the same patience.
You're not just looking for someone to date. You're looking for someone to build a God-honoring life with.
