She spent over ₦85k on a night out she didn’t even enjoy. Uber, drinks, food, outfit. All that money, just to avoid being bored at home.

Halfway through the night, she realized she didn’t like the music, the crowd or the people she came with. 

Yet, she stayed.

Not because the outing got better, but because in Lagos, leaving early feels like admitting you failed at having fun.

Then she said something that explained everything, “I think we’re all tired, but nobody wants to be the first person to rest.”

That sentence says a lot about Lagos right now.

We keep saying yes to plans we don’t actually want. We show up tired, overstimulated, and uncomfortable, just so we can say we were outside. Just so we don’t feel like we missed out.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

You don’t need more places to go.

You need better filters.

Before agreeing to anything now, I ask myself:

Am I excited about this, or just afraid of missing out?

Would I still enjoy it if I couldn’t post it anywhere?

Will I regret spending this money tomorrow morning?

The soft life isn’t loud. It’s intentional.

And the people who seem happiest in Lagos are not everywhere. They’ve simply learned how to say no without over explaining.

When last did you go out even though you really wanted to stay home?