The world has painted a false believe on the topic of love. It is viewed as an attraction and an emotional feeling. It is viewed as a desire for something and in most cases, it demands satisfaction even at the expense of another person’s choices or needs.
I am not saying this aspect should be overlooked, but it should be weighed; the consequences should be analyzed. How does it feel to hear in the news that an innocent person was killed or kidnapped because a person wants to be rich by all means?
Love is beyond your pleasures or desires. If you love an object, that desire can be put under control when necessary. For instance, hunger; that is the desire for food can be subject to control and thus the need to fast when necessary.
The focal point of this article is the desire for someone. It is a known fact that you desire a person you love. You may desire to spend time with the person or so; however, this should not be at the expense of the other person’s needs or desires. It is wrong to impose your desire on someone. Let their own opinion count as well.
From my experience I understood the difference between real love and infatuation based on this fact. Infatuation is short lived. At the peak it makes one feel like if you don’t marry this person or perform the biology practical, you will not be happy, or it will feel like you will become miserable and not able to move on in life.
You will agree with me that infatuation occurs most at teenage age, as a part of the biological changes or development that takes place in that child. In my secondary school days, there was a particular classmate I was attracted to, and I mistook this attraction for love. It made me feel like if I do not marry this guy, I will be miserable. So, one day this year I remembered the guy and I wondered where in the world he is. Up till now I still do not have an answer to that, but I realized that I have moved on even without him.
In contrast to this I met another man in the university and this time I did not impose my desire for him on him. It took time to adjust but as I noticed he was not interested in me I respected his wish. This is where a main line was drawn to distinguish between true love and fake love.
The point is that if you love someone truly you will give room to the other person needs and desires. You can only go against the person when you know the person is wrong. What you will desire is not just your own happiness alone but the happiness of the person you love even if it means to sacrifice your own happiness, comfort or desires. This is what true love is. It can also be called selflessness and this contrast to selfishness.
